This post was added because the last post made my sidebar disappear for some reason. I posted a Chili recipe that did the same thing. Damn blogger.
I'm in a bad mood today, people. My car was towed for no reason yesterday and now we have to fight with the New York beauracracy to get it back. Grrrrrr.
I feel restless and grumpy, nostalgiac and tired. Some kind of strange ennui. Oooh-la-la.
I wish I had more time to cook, to see my wife, to get my shit together. I wish my mother wasn't half-dead from her cancer and that she didn't believe that she will lose this fight. I wish I had something more profound to say, or a way to really express the feeling of this lightning in my veins, but it all seems inadequate today.
If only I could stand in the crisp air with smoke rising beside me from the cooker, with the leaves lazily falling and the world preparing to remake itself in the spring, enboldened by the changing colors and the coming thaw. Maybe then, I could figure it all out.