The Hampton Smoker

What's up wtih what's going down? Does a tree falling on the ocean with no one around make a sound? Barbecue, BBQ, Bar-b-que. It's all in how you sell it.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Pretty Ballerina

This post was added because the last post made my sidebar disappear for some reason. I posted a Chili recipe that did the same thing. Damn blogger.

I'm in a bad mood today, people. My car was towed for no reason yesterday and now we have to fight with the New York beauracracy to get it back. Grrrrrr.

I feel restless and grumpy, nostalgiac and tired. Some kind of strange ennui. Oooh-la-la.

I wish I had more time to cook, to see my wife, to get my shit together. I wish my mother wasn't half-dead from her cancer and that she didn't believe that she will lose this fight. I wish I had something more profound to say, or a way to really express the feeling of this lightning in my veins, but it all seems inadequate today.

If only I could stand in the crisp air with smoke rising beside me from the cooker, with the leaves lazily falling and the world preparing to remake itself in the spring, enboldened by the changing colors and the coming thaw. Maybe then, I could figure it all out.


Anonymous Kate said...

I am in total sympathy with you, something about the Fall makes for melancholy madness. Raise yourself a glass of your favorite spirit and remember that what goes down surely has to bounce back up.

9:16 AM  
Blogger WhiteTrashBBQ said...

Hang in there Mark. You've got people pulling for you.

10:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel your pain

Is it just a blue day
I think not
It's gray and dismal
I can smell the rot

My heart should be leaping
But it won't today
The hurt and sadness
Won't go away

I'm not stupid
I know some have it worse
but I can't shake these feelings
Maybe it's my curse

Talk to me tomorrow
It will all be forgotten
But today I can't help it
I've reached the bottom

12:52 PM  
Blogger Homesick Texan said...

When my ex and I had a car, he used to rack up the parking tickets and it was towed several times. Not fun! My heart goes out to you.

9:57 PM  
Blogger s'kat said...

Man, I had no idea. I'm so sorry.

(((hugs))) <---Yes, it's a cheesy internet-ism, but the sentiment is there.

12:05 PM  
Blogger Backyard Chef said...

Thank you, my friends. I mean that-- even though we may not have all met face-to-face, I consider you all to be my friends.

I try to keep my personal struggles off the site, but once in a while they're overwhelming and since this is my little slice of the world it's the place I can come to let some of it go.

Thanks for being there, folks. It means alot to me.

Frosty brews to all of you.

12:43 PM  

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